11.24.2011

Please don't stand so close to me
I'm having trouble breathing
I'm afraid of what you'll see right now
I give you everything I am
All my broken heart beats
Until I know you understand
And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" when you're not listening
How long can we keep this up, up, up?





11.21.2011

They Nick-Named it the Porridge.

1920's. Classy lovers. Women with finger-waved hair smoothed with soft pin-curls and men wore it slicked back. A constant Camel no-filtered cigarette hanging from a strong jaw-line. Some how I changed time. Somehow I was there. We drove our long, sleek yellow car. All of us stuffed in the back seat. I am surrounded by men in my knee-length retro dress. We drove off on a curving country road, reveling in the smells of summer and hearing the crackling buzzing of a radio from the raspy speakers. We wound up at an unknown lake. It sparkled, the sun reflecting on the rippling waves was almost too much for my weak eyes to seep in.  The summer sun was blistering hot, sending great beads of sweat down our necks. The cool, crisp water called out our names over and over again. Off went our day clothes into our bathing suits. I could feel the rush of the refreshing water cool my warm, sun-burnt skin. It encompassed me whole. The sand from the lakes bottom crushed in-between my toes. There was a tire swing hanging from an old, crooked tree, whose life had ended. But still, bravely and strongly, it held that old tire with a huge frayed, braided rope. Somehow the sky vigorously shifts--a quick jolt of the brain and suddenly the sun vanishes and is replaced by huge sad clouds. They are grey and full of doom. The entire mood surrounding me begins to mourn. I then realize I am alone. I call out to my friends. Desperate. Aching for an answer. I look down and I see one. His eyes, look at me distressed. I try to reach him, I swim faster and faster and faster down! down! down! to the depths of the lake, reaching out my long, freckled arms to him! Why can I not reach him? He is just out of my grasp! Why am I so weak? Every time I am closer to clutching his hand, I must go up and gasp in the now cold, air. It hits my lungs like glass, but still, breath it in. I go down again, trying to ration my breaths. But still, to no avail. I go up again, and down. Again. Again even I try! The last time I go down I can not find him. His body has been swallowed by thick sea-weed. It mocks me. It has won this tug-of-war battle. He has sunk into a watery grave. I am the loser. My heart sinks. An eerie feeling of panic, anger, and anguish penetrate my skin, heart, and lungs. I float up to the top of the lake. Now it snows, huge white puffs fill the frozen arctic air. I can see my breath like giant rings of smoke. I am in present time again. No car is on the now pavement road. I am all alone now in this frozen wilderness. Wet, tired, and hopeless. I don't know what happens to me in the end. I am sure it is melancholy.

11.20.2011

Tatou

//I'm sinking like a stone in the sea//
I'm burning like a bridge for your body//


11.16.2011

.a night's visit.

 The exotic creatures from those like fairy tales awoke. No longer were they held tightly by the binds of a book. More colours than the standard pencil box could even begin to hold. Huge, miraculous feathered birds flew away like giant fire-breathing dragons, their golden wings took off into sun-light starry nights. I too, fly with them, on their giant backs, and to them, I weigh nothing. I am air. I take view of the green, luscious earth  beneath me. The smell of dew permeates through the thick, fog air. There is music in the breeze, an orchestra of leaves plays a familiar tune.
 And then I switch violently to a different place. A place where I could almost smell the ocean, and savor the salty water on my taste buds. Swimming with whales on rippling waves was an old occurrence, a commonality in my day. We could understand each other, and I felt the ripples across their grey, rough skin. Scars from past wounds are like crevices. I put my hands in their mouth, and feel the plankton rush in between the baleen of my friends' giant jaws. Here there is no danger, only peaceful serenity that couldn't be stolen from even the meanest and most ruthless bandits. Such beauty--a whole new world. A world that will soon be stolen away. As the alarm clock yells at me, I disappointingly open my eyes. Reality hits like a train wreck, and I lay motionless in bed, the downy comforter still has me swallowed whole. I cringe and grimace at the long day ahead of me.Why is it that I always get awoken from the good, wondrous, magical dreams?  Not that the scary, bloodcurdling nightmares (the kind that send chills up the spine and  leave one eerie) are not amazing in the sense that one's brain would even think of that during slumber, but.... Once fully awake, I realize that I am no longer in a fairy tale. This is reality. Realness. As I crawl out of bed, my feet hit the cold floor, and I look for the nearest warmth--my coffee cup.