Be Calm.

As I walk through the streets of my new city
my back feeling much better, I suppose
I've reclaimed the use of my imagination
for better or for worse, I've yet to know

but I always knew you'd be the one to understand me,
I guess that's why it took so long to get things right.

Suddenly I'm lost
On my street
On my block

Oh why, Oh why
Oh why haven't you been there for me?
Can't you see, I'm losing my mind this time?
This time it's for real, I can see

The tops of trees are turning red
The beggars near bodegas grin at me
I think they want something
I close my eyes, I tell myself to breathe

and be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
I know that it gets so hard sometimes.

Be calm.

I'm scared that everyone is out to get me.
"These days before you speak to me you pause."
"I always see you looking out your window."
"After all, you lost your band, you left your mom."
Now every single crack, every penny that I pass,
says I should either leave or pick it up
But with every single buck I've made
I'm saddled with bad luck that came

the moment I was baptized 
or when I found out one day I'm gonna die
if only I could find my people or my place in life
a when they come a'carolin'
so loud, so bright, the theremin
will lead us to a chorus
where we'll all rejoice and sing a song that goes:

Oh be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
I know that it gets so hard sometimes,

Be calm.
Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.
You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive
and everything's wrong
It just gets so hard sometimes

Be calm.

I don't remember much that night,
Just walking, thinking fondly of you
Thinking how the worst is yet to come
When from that street corner came a song
And I can't remember the man,
The panhandler or his melody.
The words exchanged had far exceeded any change I'd given thee.

This is my new favourite song. I italicized every lyric that really pertained to and struck me. That is one of the reasons I love Fun. so much. I can relate to every song in some way. I love how down to earth they are, how creative their music is.  I love the bands that have influenced them. It's amazing how little things I have thought about and have never brought up to anybody they have wrote songs about. It makes me feel somewhat better about being in such a bad place mentally. *sigh* 
 And the great thing is is that I have wanted a tattoo of some sort to remind me to calm down, and breathe. I drew up a tattoo last night. It says Be Calm. with music notes around it. I am getting it next week. I am really excited! Have a good day people.

p.s. I am amazed at how many people read my blog every day--I am not quite sure how I feel about it. Sometimes I feel like I only show the darker sides of me on here, but I guess that is usually how I get my feelings out. 

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